How to ensure this is your last Valentine’s Day as a singleton

Words by Christopher Paul Jones, author of ‘Face your Fears’

Here we go again. With mushy cards and bunches of flowers taking over the shops, being part of a couple is being celebrated. However, for some of us, Valentine’s is the time of the year where we’d really rather just hide under the duvet.

Of course, sometimes, it is just a bad case of timing. But there can actually be something going on subconsciously that almost forces us to destroy a relationship, so that we find ourselves cyclically single.

If you find yourself single again this Valentine’s Day, it might be time to ask yourself whether fear is the reason that you are single.

Fear can play a BIG part in a relationship think about it…Fear of commitment, fear of your partner cheating, fear of losing someone that you care about... And we usually learn to fear something because of how it felt when we first went through it.

However, let’s take this one step further.  I know this might sound a bit silly at first. But, from a psychological perspective, I see many clients, who are actually being kept single because of their reaction to fear.  Yes, it’s their reactionto fear, rather than the fear itself that destroys their relationships.


A reaction to fear? Keeping you single?

Did you know that, generally, when faced with something that we fear in our relationship, we, as humans, will turn to one of three reactions.  I’m talking about fight, flight or freeze mode. Or, in psychological terms, it is what we refer to as the reptilian mindset. In other words, it is a primeval reaction that happens because of our subconscious.

Usually, when we are little, something happens to us, something not pleasant, and our brain reacts by going into fight, flight or freeze mode. Now, the first time that this happens, we aren’t even aware of it. But our subconscious mind decides to repeat this, every time that we are presented with what it sees as danger.

So, for some of us, when presented with something that our mind perceives as negative, our subconscious then provokes this reaction – and it is this reaction that could be the culprit for keeping us single.

Let me explain this a little more here – meet Mike. Mike is 30, and lives in the city. Mike is looking for love, but keeps ending up single. What happens is that every time Mike is faced with a woman’s emotions, Mike reacts to his fear, and starts to become kind of angry… Mike automatically goes into fight mode, and as much as he thinks that this is being passionate… for Mike’s partners, they often see him as aggressive.

Mike, doesn’t fully understand why he becomes so angry. He looks to blame his partner. But what’s really going on is that Mike actually fears something… and his mind simply reacts to it. And Mike keeps on repeating this pattern, over and over and over.

Now, imagine how much easier life could be for Mike if he could just understand this mindset. Not only would he be able to change and control his reaction, but he would also be able to understand his fear. This would mean better communication with his partner... And possibly a long term relationship!

And it’s not just one party’s lack of understanding of this pattern that can cause confusion in a relationship. Maybe you have found yourself being on the receiving end, of someone when they go into fight, flight or freeze mode?

Perhaps you know all too well, what it feels like to be with someone who reacts through fleeing (flight mode). The person who leaves after an argument, and never picks up their phone again.

Or maybe you have dated the freeze kind of guy or girl, who just clams up when under pressure, and seems to just sit... And stay there. This can come across as uncaring. Yet what is going on in the inside, can be a totally different story.

By working out your own reaction, when faced with fear in a relationship, whether it be fear of commitment, or fear of losing someone, you put yourself back in the driver’s seat. You are able to a) dig deep and face yourself, and b) communicate with your partner.

Sometimes, all it takes is working on your fear with a therapist, maybe, and a conversation with your partner, and once you understand what’s been going wrong here, you are able to see things a lot clearer.

One thing’s for sure – fight, flight or freeze – whichever reaction suits you best, in some ways, it’s actually natural. So, figure out where you fit, and then look at evolving past that. You owe it to yourself, and your future partner, to stop letting fear get the better of you.

A sure fire hit for a Romantic gift – LÖF Jewellery


With Valentine’s Day, literally, just around the corner, the thought of what to buy a loved one is always a perplexing conundrum. The sustainable fine jewellery brand, LÖF, may very well be the answer to this enigma . LŌF,
creates bold, architectural fine jewellery that makes an impact.

Founded by Morgan Mackintosh whose love of Art Deco and modernist architecture shapes every piece, LÖF draws inspiration from the bold symmetry of 1920s design and the pure forms of architectural landmarks. These influences are reimagined through a contemporary lens, creating jewellery that honours the past while defining the future. 

Their distinctive pieces merge striking design with conscious luxury—crafted from recycled 18k gold, lab-grown stones from solar-powered facilities, and ethically sourced diamonds and gemstones. 

Each creation balances strong geometric forms with refined details, where clean lines meet unexpected elements. This is jewellery that commands attention—designs that demand dialogue.

The World’s Most Romantic Places—According to TikTok and Google Searches

Forget Paris! Research from TikTok and Google reveals that modern couples are looking beyond traditional destinations when planning their romantic getaways. Dating expert Jesper JensenfromExperts En Amour has analyzed search trends to unveil the most romantic, yet underrated, places around the world. This data, gathered from millions of TikTok videos and Google searches, highlights the destinations that are capturing the hearts of couples in 2024.

According to TikTok hashtags for #RomanticGetaways and Google search trends, these hidden gems are gaining popularity among adventurous couples looking for a unique romantic escape:

Lake Bled, Slovenia

With over 52 million views on TikTok and averaging 28,000 monthly Google searches, Lake Bled has become a trending romantic hotspot. Surrounded by a backdrop of majestic mountains and a picturesque island with a charming church, couples are drawn to its serene atmosphere. Whether taking a boat to the island or hiking up to Bled Castle for panoramic views, Lake Bled offers an intimate escape for lovebirds.

Hallstatt, Austria

Known as the “Instagram fairytale,” Hallstatt boasts 31 million views on TikTok and around 22,000 monthly Google searches for romantic winter getaways. Couples have been flocking here to enjoy cozy boat rides, explore quaint streets, and indulge in romantic Austrian cuisine. This destination provides the ultimate romantic vibe away from mainstream tourist spots.

Big Sur, California

Big Sur has amassed 45 million views on TikTok, with an average of 19,000 Google searches per month for romantic road trips. This rugged stretch of California’s coastline is perfect for couples who crave dramatic landscapes, secluded beaches, and breathtaking ocean views. Its natural beauty makes it a perfect escape for romance seekers.

Sapa, Vietnam

Sapa has surged in popularity, with over 12 million TikTok views and 15,000 monthly Google searches for romantic getaways in Asia. Known for its mist-covered mountains and traditional rice terraces, couples can enjoy peaceful trekking, cozy eco-lodges, and a serene rural escape in Vietnam’s north.

Isle of Skye, Scotland

The Isle of Skye has exploded on TikTok, gathering 36 million views, and has gained 17,000 Google searches a month for romantic destinations. This Scottish gem, with its rugged cliffs, romantic castles, and ethereal landscapes, is perfect for couples who want to escape into the wild beauty of nature.

Alentejo, Portugal

The quiet Alentejo region is on the rise, with 9 million TikTok views and an impressive 12,000 Google searches a month. Far from the crowded beaches of the Algarve, Alentejo’s rolling vineyards, medieval villages, and stunning coastline are attracting couples who seek peace and privacy for their romantic retreat.

Kauai, Hawaii

Kauai has gathered over 40 million views on TikTok and averages 14,000 monthly Google searchesfor romantic Hawaiian escapes. Known as the “Garden Isle,” Kauai’s lush rainforests, waterfalls, and hidden beaches offer couples a more intimate and serene Hawaiian experience, away from the crowds of the bigger islands.

Annecy, France

While Paris may be the usual go-to in France, Annecy is experiencing a surge in popularity, boasting 11 million TikTok views and 13,000 Google searches per month for romantic destinations in France. Nestled beside a crystal-clear lake and surrounded by the French Alps, Annecy charms couples with its fairy-tale vibe, quaint canals, and breathtaking mountain views. It’s the perfect place for a romantic getaway without the hustle and bustle of the capital.

Additional imagery

Peter Bucks

Michael Vrba

Bradley Lembach

Kimia

Johnny Briggs

Gina Spinelli

Kaitlin Kelly

Kyle Evans

A Top gift idea for Valentine’s Day that’s packed full of treats – Top Hampers

Whether you are in the first heady days of romance or have been with your partner for ever, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to remind them how much you care.

With traditional Valentine’s gifting usually consisting of chocolates and flowers, a hamper might not be the first gift that springs to mind. But a personalised hamper from Top Hampers takes hampers to a whole new level. Forget the traditional bottle of plonk and cheese selection, and think instead of quality gifts carefully chosen with your loved one in mind. NO generic gifting here, but rather gifts that are perfectly suited to them.

Top Hampers is disrupting the gifts market, with tailored and personalised hampers that take gifting to a whole new level. Top Hampers is a family business, run by Cathy Catto and three of her children, who discovered a unique opportunity to work together, inspired by their shared love for celebrating special moments. Top Hampers is defined by quality, thoughtfulness and personalised hampers that guarantee to put a smile on your recipient’s face. They select suppliers with meticulous care, which not only enriches the quality of the hampers but also fosters a community of suppliers united by a common goal: to deliver joy and satisfaction through every gift.

At the heart of Top Hampers is the belief that gift giving is all about thoughtfulness – and that’s why they create truly personalised hampers that can be tailored to each recipient, so that they feel truly special and spoilt.

Top Hampers offers a bespoke Valentine’s hamper experience where each one is filled with items chosen specifically to reflect your beloved’s unique personality, so they know you’ve put real thought into their gift. Top Hampers will find something unique that feels just right and makes your loved one feel truly known and acknowledged.

So how does it work? Well, it’s very simple. When you order, you fill in a section with relevant details about your other half, including information such as hobbies, sports and interests, whether they like a tipple and what kind, whether they love chocolate or prefer savoury snacks, whether they are health-conscious, keen gardeners, love to pamper themselves and so on. Top Hampers will then create a Valentine’s hamper that will truly delight them.

With hundreds of quality products to hand, Top Hampers understands how much the small details matter, whether it’s a personalised keepsake, artisan-crafted items, or luxury wellness products, each one is as unique as the person receiving it. The company can source almost anything to provide that personal touch, with quality being paramount in the gifts included within the hampers.

This is a quick and easy solution to giving a thoughtful gift experience without spending hours trawling either the shops or the internet yourself and where everything is in one place.

Also – if you simply leave it too late, or are always pushed for time – there is a fabulous selection of curated, ready-to-order quality Valentine’s hampers available, too, suitable for any budget and with gorgeous hampers for him, for her, or for you both to share, whether you enjoy the deeply romantic treatment or something a bit more fun together.

What Your Cologne Says About You on a Date: The Psychology of Fragrance

Words by Esmé Gelder

When it comes to making a great impression on a date, every detail matters, from the outfit you wear to the words you choose. However, one often-overlooked element can leave a more lasting impression than anything else—your cologne. A man’s choice of fragrance does more than smell pleasant; it communicates personality, evokes emotions, and creates memories. Let’s dive into the fascinating psychology behind colognes and what they say about you on a date.


Source: Bruno Mattos

The Connection Between Scent and Psychology

Scent is one of the most powerful senses, directly tied to the brain’s limbic system, which governs emotions, memories, and feelings. Unlike other senses, scents bypass the logical centers of the brain, triggering immediate emotional responses. This is why certain fragrances can make someone feel calm, confident, or even nostalgic in seconds.

On a date, cologne becomes more than a pleasant addition to your grooming routine—date night colognes act as silent communicators of your character and mood.  The right fragrance can boost your confidence, enhance your presence, and leave a memorable impression on your partner.

How Scent Influences Perception

Your choice of cologne can send subtle cues about your personality. Different scent profiles are associated with particular traits and feelings. Let’s explore how these fragrances are perceived:

Citrus and Fresh Notes: These scents, featuring lemon, bergamot, or mint, suggest energy, optimism, and approachability. Wearing a fresh cologne signals vibrancy and positivity, perfect for casual or daytime dates.
Woody and Earthy Notes: Fragrances with cedar, sandalwood, or patchouli exude strength, confidence, and depth. They’re ideal for creating a sense of sophistication during formal or evening outings.
Warm and Spicy Notes: With hints of cinnamon, vanilla, or clove, these fragrances create a cozy and intimate vibe, perfect for fostering a deeper connection on a relaxed dinner date.
Aquatic and Clean Notes: Scents reminiscent of the sea or rain suggest calmness and reliability, giving the impression of someone grounded and thoughtful.

By understanding the emotions and traits linked to different fragrance families, you can choose a cologne that best matches your intentions for the evening.

Scent and Memory: Leaving a Lasting Impression

One of the most compelling aspects of cologne is its ability to create and trigger memories. Have you ever caught a familiar scent and been transported back to a specific moment or person? This phenomenon, known as the “Proustian effect,” highlights how scents are closely tied to memory.

Choosing a signature cologne for dates can help your partner associate the fragrance with positive memories of you. Over time, they may come to associate the scent with feelings of happiness, attraction, and comfort, creating a lasting emotional connection.

Decoding Fragrance Families for Date Night

When selecting a cologne for a date, it’s essential to consider the occasion and the ambiance you want to create. Here’s a breakdown of popular fragrance families and how they can elevate your date night style:

1. Fresh and Energetic

Fresh colognes, often featuring citrus, green, or aquatic notes, are ideal for daytime or casual outings. These scents radiate positivity and vitality, making them perfect for first dates or outdoor adventures.

Key Notes: Lemon, bergamot, mint, and lavender.
What It Says About You: “I’m approachable, upbeat, and full of energy.”
Best for: Coffee dates, walks in the park, or casual lunches.

Fresh fragrances leave a crisp and clean impression, ensuring you come across as lively and confident.

2. Warm and Inviting

Warm colognes with spicy or gourmand notes create a cozy and intimate atmosphere. These scents are comforting and exude approachability, making them ideal for deeper conversations and romantic dinners.

Key Notes: Cinnamon, vanilla, clove, and amber.
What It Says About You: “I’m charismatic, warm, and easy to connect with.”
Best for: Candlelit dinners, movie nights, or quiet evenings at home.

The richness of warm fragrances invites closeness and intimacy, helping to build a stronger emotional connection.

3. Sophisticated and Woody

Woody colognes are the epitome of refinement and elegance. With earthy and musky undertones, they project confidence and depth, making them perfect for formal or upscale settings.

Key Notes: Sandalwood, cedarwood, patchouli, and vetiver.
What It Says About You: “I’m confident, grounded, and sophisticated.”
Best for: Upscale dinners, theater dates, or important milestones.

Woody fragrances leave a bold impression, showcasing your mature and commanding presence.


Source: Andrea Piacquadio

4. Sensual and Oriental

Oriental colognes blend exotic spices with rich resins and florals to create a sensual and mysterious aura. These fragrances are perfect for making a bold statement and turning up the romance.

Key Notes: Cardamom, musk, tonka bean, and oud.
What It Says About You: “I’m confident, intriguing, and passionate.”
Best for: Romantic evenings, special celebrations, or adventurous dates.

These bold scents draw attention and intrigue, ensuring your presence is both felt and remembered.

Choosing the Right Cologne for You

When selecting a cologne, consider the following factors to ensure it aligns with your personality and the occasion:

1. Understand Your Personality: Reflect on how you want to be perceived—whether it’s lively, mysterious, approachable, or sophisticated. Choose a scent that complements your natural traits.
2. Match the Occasion: The setting and tone of the date should influence your fragrance choice. A casual outing might call for a fresh scent, while an upscale dinner may warrant a woody or oriental cologne.
3. Consider the Season: Lighter, citrus-based fragrances are more suitable for warmer months, while richer, spicier colognes shine in the cooler seasons.
4. Test Before You Buy: A cologne might smell different on your skin than it does in the bottle. Always try it on and wear it for a few hours to see how it evolves with your body chemistry.
Tips for Wearing Cologne on a Date

To ensure your cologne enhances your presence rather than overpowering it, follow these tips:

Apply Strategically: Focus on pulse points like your wrists, neck, and behind the ears. The warmth of these areas helps diffuse the scent throughout the evening.
Don’t Overdo It: Two to three spritzes are enough. Your cologne should be subtle and inviting, not overwhelming.
Layer Fragrances: Use matching scented products, such as deodorants or aftershaves, to create a cohesive scent profile.
Refresh If Needed: Carry a travel-sized bottle for long dates to reapply subtly if the fragrance fades.
Make an Impression That Lasts

Cologne is more than just a finishing touch to your grooming routine—it’s a powerful tool that communicates your personality, enhances your mood, and leaves a lasting impression. By understanding the psychology of scent and carefully selecting a fragrance that aligns with your personality and the occasion, you can elevate your dating experience and ensure your presence lingers long after the date is over.

So next time you’re preparing for a date, think about what your cologne says about you. Whether it’s a fresh and vibrant scent or a warm and intimate fragrance, the right cologne has the power to make your evening unforgettable.