Just in case it had slipped your mind, Mother’s Day is this Sunday coming and often it is idealised to be a lovely day filled with positive vibes, love, and quality family time. In reality, it doesn’t look like that for everyone. Many people have rocky relationships with their mums, meaning this special day usually ends in disaster or isn’t celebrated at all.
The International Authority for Professional Coaching & Mentoring is the leading accreditation body for professional coaches. Today, IAPC&M accredited coach, Sharon Kandiah shares her 5 tips for surviving Mother’s Day (if you have a a high maintenance mum):
1. Set the scene – simply send your love via telephone instead of visiting. However, if you are visiting in person, be up front about how long you’ll be staying (and stick to your boundaries). If mum is unpleasant in any way, have the courage to leave early – you do not need to put up with her. You may love them, but you don’t need to like her!
2. Focus on the positives – take this opportunity to practice gratitude, forgiveness and love by telling your mum what you’re grateful for, what you forgive them for, and end by telling them what you love about them – regardless of your other issues. Bringing up old dramas will only make the situation awkward and lead to negative feelings.
3. Be authentic – sometimes things do not go the way you hoped they would. For instance, if your intended message / thought / action was not received in the way you hoped. Remain true to yourself and value your intention, knowing that how the other person reacted is not your problem.
4. Acceptance – accept that your mum is only human and has made mistakes – we all have. Even the most difficult of relationships can be accepted for what they are with a bit of patience. Love and acceptance are the kindest feelings for both you and your mum.
5. Take charge of your life – remember, we are responsible for our own choices in life. And sometimes this means we have to let go when it is negatively affecting our lives. Don’t let your mum’s problems become yours and don’t feel responsible for her actions. Instead, be there for your mum, without taking on her baggage, knowing you can only do your best for her.
(DISCLAIMER– I had the best Mum and have the best Mother in Law in the world, just for the record)