Wild Card Archives - CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN

There’s nothing more impressive then being able to order a drink in an intelligent and mature manner when trying to impress someone, whether thats a lady or gentleman, a work colleague or suitor, or maybe they’re both. But it speaks volumes about an individual if you have a signature tipple, which at the same time, sides on the values of stylish and intelligent then wanky and pretentious.

We’ve all been in that situation when we’ve arrived late to meet friends and we’re told such and such is at the bar now, get them to get you a drink in. Your rushed your harassed and you say those fatal words, “Errrr just get me whatever your havin” and low and behold you end up drinking either some hideous soft drink like dandelion and burdock or some equally horrid, day glo concoction, that you know will result in the hangover from hell tomorrow.

We advise to learn the fundamentals of making a good cocktail, and you can experiment with ingredients to create your own. Basically, cocktails have three components (wooden umbrella not included). There is no hard fast rule about exactly how to dose, but generally we like to stick to 3:2:1. Use this, and your tastebuds as a guide. Just keep it simple, since the cocktail world doesn’t need any more showboats.

3)The base. This is the principle spirit in your cocktail, such as a fine gin, vodka, tequila, whisky or rum. The base typically makes up 70% of your drink before adding ice. Like all bases in life, this one should be solid and of the best possible quality–otherwise you’re just wasting your time.

2)The modifier. A modifier lends character to your cocktail and emphasizes the attributes of the base spirit. Use the modifier to draw out what you like about the principle spirit. Mixologists typically choose an aromatic wine, a liqueur such as Grand Marnier or freshly pressed fruit juice to enhance the original flavour notes of the base spirit.

1)The twist. Twists include taste and texture enhancers like bitters, herbs and spices or flavoured and simple syrups. Twists enrich and enhance your cocktail, but they should generally be used sparingly. When we’re feeling particularly rowdy we like to add an egg white à la pisco sour or a splash of cream to create sensational texture.

Always remember,
‘A good cocktail has tension. Tension exists in the balance between elements like alcoholic strength, sweet, sour, bitter, salt, temperature and texture. ‘

Let me tell you something about going to a cricket match. You pay about 70 notes to watch a very slow game from a considerable distance. You have to provide your own entertainment by gambling hoards of money, trying to start a mexican wave and drinking an immoderate amount of Red Stripe. Unless someone like Kevin Pietersen is at the crease, switch hitting sixes over the long off boundary, or getting out first ball, then you can quite easily sleep through the afternoon unperturbed by the middle class grunting and scoffing on salmon and cucumber sandwiches. The ECB have committed an absolute howler by retiring Kevin Pietersen. Here are some other greats of our day that were shunned by the talentless corporates and their petty meddling.

PAUL GASCOIGNE – Glen Hoddle turned his back on Gazza, omitting one of the most skillful players of our time from the 1998 World Cup squad. Ok So he had a drinking problem, so he turned up to every training game clutching a can of strongbow, lighting a fag with the butt of another. What of it? He was the best player in the team and do you know who made the plane over to France in his place? David Batty. And do you know who missed the final penalty that put us out against the Argies? David Batty. Nice one Hoddle, keep hammering those cheques from from 4th division Spanish teams for academy of rejects you douche.

ALEX HIGGINS – This one was a crippler. Alex Higgins wasn’t quite in the same league as Canadian Bill Werbinick who’d hammer 16 pints during a session of snooker. But he’d easily sink a few G&T’s and smoke a 20 pack before head butting an official before attending a press conference. Snookers governing body wanted Higgins out of the sport. They cut his ranking points, banned him from tournament play for a season and just made him disappear. When asked if he could survive without snooker Higgins replied ‘Can snooker live without me?’ The answer was no.

MUHAMMED ALI – One of the greatest fighters to ever pick up the gloves was stripped of his world title and banned for three years by the professional boxing commission because he refused to go fight the Vietcong. Now boxing isn’t like racing shetland ponies, you don’t get to pad out a career into your late fifties, you really only have a small window for which to peak. Plus who in their right mind would want to go to Vietnam? Some people are still over there fighting that war that’s how bad it is. It’s like being told to drink horrible apple sour shots by an alpha male and then suffering a 3 day hangover as a result. Yes it’s exactly like that.

If you’re feeling a little more Bah Humbug than I wish it could be Christmas Everyday and want to partake in a soup-son of the Christmas Spirit – we don’t condone drinking too much Christmas Spirit, everything in moderation please. Well, we’ve gathered together our collective knowledge at Clothes-make-the-man of Christmas Markets and rather then you waste your time going to some dank, miserable half hearted affair where Santa stinks of a cocktail of moth balls and Vodka and the Christmas Products on sale amount to a knitted Nativity scene and toilet roll Snowmen, we’ve got a selection of the best around.

Yes Manchester, although the holder of the crown for traditional Shopping mecca of the North of the UK; Manchester also has a rip roaring Christmas Market thats up there with pretty much the best around. It’s been running a Germany Style Christmas Market since 1999 and although starting off in very modest terms taking up St Ann’s Square over the years it has continued to grow in both size and popularity. Only last weekend it had a recording breaking 85,000 attendees in the Albert Square market alone and the stalls, entertainment and general Christmassness stretches pretty much throughout the City Centre now taking in not only Albert Square but the new Spinfields Shopping area (with an ice rink), St Anne’s Square through to the Triangle past Harvey Nichols and Selfridges and then right up Market St and into the revamped Piccadilly Gardens, phew. Traders from as far away as Lapland and Transylvania have come to the city to run more than 300 stalls, selling everything from Traditional Continental Christmas Decorations and food tasting to Madchester Memorabilia and it runs right up to 22nd December.

Edinburgh next, yes moving up a little further North of the border, explore Edinburgh’s renowned German Christmas Market for unusual gift ideas such as handmade decorations and unique craft items. Warm up with a mug of Glühwein, red wine that is heated with cinnamon, cloves, vanilla, citrus and sugar and try some traditional German fare including biscuits, sweets and venison burgers. Right in the New Year on the 4th Januy !!!! Edinburgh has events occurring including the Great Santa Run on the West Princes Street Gardens to the Ethical Christmas Fair right on Castle Street.

On to the Capital of the UK, London, where you’re rather spoilt for choice, but we’re concentrating mainly on the Southbank’s Christmas Market. Firstly, whatever you do DON’T Drive in, take Public transport, with Waterloo, Blackfriars, Embankment, even Covent Garden tube stations all very accessible to it and countless bus routes don’t bring the car ! It stretches along the South bank of the Thames from Borough Market down at London Bridge right the way along to past the London Eye and along to the Houses of Parliament. 80 authentically decorated wooden chalets will sell you a whole host of Christmassy products all offered in a magical winter atmosphere.

Now, we couldn’t do Christmas Markets without mentioning Winter Wonderland. Think if Disney were to do a Christmas theme park, independent of its own Theme parks of course, then that’s Winter Wonderland. Housed within Hyde Park so close to Hyde Park Corner, Knightsbridge, Victoria and Marble Arch tube stations. This Christmas Wonderland not only includes a Christmas Market, not a great one, please tell me who would want to buy a wooden tie or a CND symbol wind chime ???? but it does have a Yuletide themed Fairground, a Zippo Circus, an Ice rink and An Ice Kingdom (the clue is in the name). Plus I have a couple of pieces of advice which are specifically for Winter Wonderland, but can equally be for all the other locations. I have to say firstly, Winter Wonderland is brilliant ! but –

1) Either go early, i.e. 10am when it opens or 7pm ish (it closes at 10pm), it is even more magical in the dark I have to say & the mulled wine seems to go down better than 10 in the morning. Now the reason for this pearl of wisdom is, IT GETS HORRENDOUSLY busy, every day of the week.

2) Go to a cash machine before you get there, although they have introduced more cash machines within the park this year, still go to go beforehand, trust me.

3) Its lovely to taste festive cuisines from around the world, well mainly Germany, but if your hungry you don’t wanna be queuing for the best part of 45 minutes for essentially a hot dog and charged, lets just say, inflated prices. There are literally hundreds of restaurants near to Hyde Park, The Worsley(one of the best Restaurants in London) is near Green Park Station, to Ask, La Tasca, Pizza Express, McDonalds (even) and lots of pubs near to Victoria Station. Ohh and by the way its here until pretty much the last day of Christmas 5th January.

Across the Irish Sea next to Ireland’s longest running Christmas Market, the Galway Continental Christmas Market, in Eyre Square, Galway City, until Monday 5th January!!! Now, the Galway Continental Christmas Market, will launch the festive season in Ireland as it is the earliest Christmas Market to open in the country.

Building on the successful format of previous years, the market will be a hive of activity with lots of entertainment promised. Over fifty traders from all over Ireland and Europe will be selling a host of crafts, festive food, treats and Christmas gift ideas, while the expected audience of up to 650,000 market-goers can also enjoy a live entertainment programme throughout the month-long event

Last, but by no means least is the Daddy or even Grandaddy of Christmas Markets, Bath. Located in the heart of the City close to the Roman Baths and the famous Pump rooms(good idea for a spot of Christmas lunch or afternoon tea, how civilised). The market consists of over 140 individual wooden chalet style stalls, each one offering quality products and brilliant gift ideas. From handmade crafts, unique jewellery pieces and decorations, to locally produced food and drink, you will find it easy to find that special ingredient for the most memorable and treasured gifts. However, get your skates on if your fancy a bit of Bath as their Christmas market only runs til 15th December(I have no idea why).

Wish you were here ?

With the foreign holiday season well and truly up in the air this year and a staycation looking increasingly far much likely, again, we at Clothes-make-the-man.com, as always, are looking out for your best interests and to offer you invaluable advice. Now because of all this holiday shenanigans, we know no one like packing, it throws up all sorts of issues, leaving it to the last minute, have you packed enough or too much, I really should replace those speedos, yes you really should replace the budgie smugglers, honestly ! Do I have my passport, suncream, travel adaptor. The list is literally endless as is the headache, until you’re laying on that lounger, relaxed with a bright coloured drink in hand. So, because we think so highly of our beloved readers we sort the advice of the experts and asked travel expert Ian Chapman, to kindly provide a few essential tips on how to look great in the sun, wherever your holiday destination. He advises ;

Pack light: Have a good think about your destination and what you’ll need. Don’t just empty your entire wardrobe into your bag.

For example, are you really going to need that expensive, crisp shirt in the clubs of Ibiza? Likewise, those lazy sweat pants aren’t going to get much wear for your long weekend in St Tropez!

If you pack carefully and selectively, you should be able to get a week’s holiday clothing into one carry-on bag (thus, saving money and time on checked baggage). All airlines have restrictions on the size of carry on luggage you can use, of which Ryan Air seem about the most onerous with a measely 55cm x 40cm x 20cm, whilst Easyjet and British Airways offer a more reasonable 56cm x 45cm x 25cm.

Ahhh this should get you in the mood

Plan ahead: Think about how you can mix and match different pieces to create different outfits; which shorts can you wear with t-shirts and vests during the day, but can be dressed up with a smart shirt worn casually for evening? Planning ahead and visualising your different outfits, and different scenarios will help you realise you’re never actually going to wear those extra pair of jeans – so just leave them at home. In fact, if you think you’ve packed the right amount of clothes, chances are you’ve packed too many!

Pack carefully: Cramming things into your bag an hour before your flight departs will have you looking like you’ve just rolled out of bed at the other end. Creased, shabby-looking garments will not get you access to the Yacht Club de Cannes. Take tips off those assistants on the High Street. A few minutes properly folding your clothes will help no end with their condition at the other end. Another method is to double up items such as shirts and tees etc and roll them. This avoids those sharp fold creases.

Materials and ‘the look’: When you’re at home, it’s easy to look brilliant in a freshly ironed top, but once that has spent four hours stuffed into a bag, the effect isn’t going to be the same. Think about those items in your wardrobe that might need a little less care or attention. Linen hangs great, even with a few creases in, and patterned or check shirts can disguise the well-travelled shirt quite well too.

Take time on arrival: Don’t be tempted to chuck your bag on the bed and hit the pool bar straight away. Spend just a few precious minutes getting all your essential shirts, t-shirts, trousers and jeans out of your case and onto hangers. Your mates may think you have the early onset of OCD, but you’ll have the last laugh when you hit the clubs looking pristine.

The shower trick: Whilst getting ready for a night out a good tip is to hang any creased clothes in the bathroom whilst you take a shower. Keep the door closed and let the steam take effect. The creases from your clothes will fall out much quicker.

Re-use, recycle: We know. It gets hot on holiday, especially if you’ve just spent eight hours sweating in a Balearic super club, but think back to your match-ups you thought about when you were packing back at home. Time to switch around a few of your outfits so it doesn’t look like you’re wearing the same get-up every day.

Flip the flop: How many pairs of shoes do you really need to take? Once reserved for the beach only, the flip-flop has become a summer must-have which goes with almost any look. Havianas in a neutral colour will sit just as comfortably with a pair of swim shorts by day or some chinos at night.

I’ll have mine on the rocks – Choosing the correct drink for you.

Not playing by the rules, Non conforming Sporting Heroes

Fancy partaking in a little Christmas Cheer – The Best of the Christmas Markets????

We’re all going on a Summer Holiday ! I wish – Essential packing tips

Something for the Weekend for the Culture Vultures amongst you

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